The only challenge to the Templar monopoly comes from a loose-knit confederacy of pirates from the lawless moon of Zagora, who make their living by raiding the Templar ice convoys. There is one planet, however, which escaped the holocaust essentially intact- Mithra, home of the Templars, who emerged from the Galactic Wars not just victorious, but in a position of incomparable wealth and power due to their world’s status as the galaxy’s last viable source of water. ![]() Such was the environmental damage caused by the pan-galactic conflict that nearly every planet inhabitable by humanoid life had its surface reduced to an arid or semi-arid wasteland, and water has become far and away the most precious commodity in the known universe. Some 10,000 years ago, the entire galaxy was wracked by a series of devastating wars. Bring along low expectations and a forgiving attitude, and The Ice Pirates goes down painlessly enough. True, it’s never as funny as writer/director Stewart Raffill wants it to be, but while there are no out-loud laughs to be had here, there is also nothing seriously groan-inducing. ![]() That reputation is mostly undeserved, however. Its reputation (to the extent that it has one) paints it as an utter failure, but one without sufficient character to make it compelling for its deficiencies. A mostly unexceptional sci-fi comedy from the mid-1980’s, it has few ambitions, little historical value, and only a handful of actual fans. The Ice Pirates is very much that sort of film. Sometimes it’s nice to review something that isn’t the first of this or the most important of that or an early, unheralded antecedent of the other- something, in other words, that’s just a movie, to be taken or left on its own perhaps limited merits.
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